Nonmonogamy, Kink, and Couples Coaching
Work towards a satisfying relationship for you and your partner(s)
Through personal and professional experience, I am familiar with nonmonogamous relationships and the kink scene; I will not pathologize your relationship structure or sexual interests.
Approach to treatment
If you are an individual or couple struggling with issues related to nonmonogamy or kink--such as opening up your relationship, navigating the complexity that can come with multiple relationships, or incorporating a new kinky fantasy or bdsm dynamic into your play--you want to work with a clinician who will not pathologize your relationship structure or sexual interests.
While you will always be listened to with nonjudgmental attention, I describe my practice around this area of focus as coaching. Whether with an individual or couple, I distinguish this service from psychotherapy or psychoanalysis because in this approach I will be more directive, at times offering suggestions of actions to take or discussions to have within your relationships.
What can coaching from a kink and poly-friendly therapist help with?
You may be looking for a therapist to help you decide if and how you want to open your relationship; you may need to reconnect with a partner after a difficult experience with nonmonogamy; or maybe you are already in a polyamorous relationship and are working through issues of jealousy or are struggling with a shift in your partner’s availability. Perhaps you and your partner have very different fantasies, and you are hoping to find the common ground to bring them into alignment. You may also be looking to introduce bdsm or kink into your relationship for the first time, or feel the need to renegotiate the boundaries you have been using within your existing dynamic.
Whatever reason brings you to treatment, coaching can help you or you and your partner(s) with the following:
Determining what type of relationship best suits your emotional and practical needs
Determining what you want from a nonmonogamous relationship
Identifying fears and hopes about opening up your relationship
Identifying rituals and activities to help you feel connected and closer to your partner(s)
Identifying and working through sources of jealousy
Communicating new or long-standing fantasies with your partner
Listening to your partner(s) with compassion and openness, while maintaining your own boundaries
Taking responsibility for your own role in your relationship dynamics, and making changes if you or your partner(s) are unsatisfied
Negotiating and working through expectations of time, availability, and physical safety
Negotiating and processing new experiences as you feel ready to explore them
Why work with me?
As an explicitly poly-friendly therapist, I enjoy working with individuals, couples, triads, and more around a variety of issues related to nonmonogamy. Whether you are considering opening your marriage or relationship, need help figuring out healthy boundaries with multiple partners, are recovering from one or more bad breakups, or are just starting to explore the possibility of a nonmonogamous relationship, I am here to help you and/or your partner(s) to determine healthy and sustainable ways of relating to one another--or to help you separate in a gentler, kinder way.
As a kink-friendly therapist, I enjoy helping individuals, couples, and more navigate their physical and emotional boundaries around sexual exploration. Perhaps you want to incorporate bdsm into your relationship, and don’t know how to broach this topic with your partner. Maybe you are struggling to find the common ground between your own and your partner’s fantasies. Or perhaps you are looking to work on how to say and get what you want from your relationship - both in the bedroom and in your day to day life. Whatever your reasons for seeking me out, I am happy to help if your issues are related to kink and nonmonogamy, or if you and your partner are focused on improving your communication style for a more peaceful and satisfying relationship.